When you meet a guy you like, you naturally want to talk with him. You want things to progress and you try to think of things that you can text him about to make contact. If you want to know how to text with a guy you like, read this before you send another message please. the key word here is “with”, it has to be mutual interaction.
I write posts here for men as well as women. One thing you need to know here before you text that guy you like is this. One of the most searched terms for my website is “she texts me too much”. Texting the guy you like too much is going to turn him off. Being too eager is not a good thing.
When texting a guy, less is more, believe me. He is the man, give him space to lead. If you are the one doing the texting, or he doesn’t text you first, you are in essence chasing him. Chasing men never works. It comes across as needy or worse, desperate. There is zero challenge for him and it requires zero effort on his part.
The best Way to Text with a Guy You Like
The best way to text a guy you like is to simply reply enthusiastically when he texts you. In other words, you simply answer his texts. If he isn’t texting, then you shouldn’t be texting him. If he isn’t texting, he probably isn’t interested or either you have already killed his attraction with your over eagerness by texting him. Or maybe he is just busy.
Your job when it comes to texting guys is to simply observe. You can get a good feel of his level of interest if you simply observe his texting habits. Is he texting your regularly? Does he text you at all? Does he make an effort to see you? You do not want to show a higher level of interest than he does. Seriously, you don’t.
You can be flirty and fun when he texts you. Be open and receptive when answering a guy that you like when texting with him. No pushing, like asking when will you see him, when will he text you again or requesting that he text you again. Leaning back is how to text a guy you like.
If you want to text him a good rule to follow is 80/20. You text him 20% for the 80% that he texts you. Anything more and you are over selling yourself.
If you are thinking of texting him good morning every day would be sweet, think again. If he isn’t texting you good morning, don’t take this task on yourself. You would be investing into a guy that is not texting you. It’s not going to make you more appealing.
How Often Should You Text a Guy You Like
This is so tough for most women. They want to jump and move the relationship forward. Guys simply don’t think like this. They are more in the moment and usually in the beginning aren’t even thinking of a relationship. Be careful here, getting ahead of the guy is what causes them to pull away and lose interest. You don’t want to do that. Learn now how to text and call guys the right way, the way that doesn’t send them rolling their eyes and running for the hills.
You just relax and live your fabulous life. I know when you like a guy a lot it’s tough not to try to steer the relationship, but seriously if he likes you back you won’t need to send a text to remind him you are alive. Give him space and allow him to be the man and pursue you and you are much more likely to get what you want than you would be chasing after him texting him too much.
I have had many women come to me with this problem. They want to know why does he ignore my texts. Most of them make excuses for these guys instead of facing the reality of the situation. A guy that ignores your texts is ignoring you.
Now this can happen in different circumstances. It could be after a spat or a break up. If this is the case and you keep texting and he isn’t answering your texts, you have to stop texting him. He will only see you as a love sick school girl if you keep it up. If he isn’t answering, let him be for a while, let him calm down. If you keep texting him, he is probably scared to answer you at this point because he knows he will be drilled.
If you are just starting to date, in the first few weeks and he is ignoring your texts, well he hasn’t made you a priority yet and I must ask why are you texting him in the first place. If a man isn’t texting you, you shouldn’t be texting him, period. It upsets the balance. Guys instinctively prefer to chase (they don’t admit this) and you texting him when he isn’t texting you means you are the one doing the chasing.
If he is not texting your first and you are the one texting him first all the time, you are leading the relationship and operating in some serious masculine energy.
So if you find yourself wondering why does he ignore my texts, I can already tell you what you are doing wrong. If he is ignoring then he isn’t texting. If he isn’t texting and you are, you are trying to control where the relationship is going. You are trying to get a result that may not align with him. Regardless of why you think he should text you, if he is ignoring your texts, he is ignoring you.
Men ignore us often when they aren’t on the same page as we are in the relationship. They don’t want to actually tell you this, so they do avoidance instead. Then when they do reply and you let them back in, you have just accepted him on his terms, not yours. It will never really grow like this. You have to have boundaries, but you have to not shove them down his throat.
When he ignores your texts, you aren’t a priority. If you keep on texting, it shows him he is a priority. In other words, you are investing your time and energy into a man that is not investing it into you. You have already made him a priority, while to him, you are only an option. Chances are good he is going to disappear sooner or later if he does this already.
What To Do When He Ignores Your Texts
I can make this really simple. Nothing. When he ignores your texts, you do nothing. You mirror his level of interest! You silence will speak way louder than it will if you keep sending texts. You see when you keep texting a man that isn’t texting you, you show a lack of self control. Let me tell you, self control is very intriguing, not to mention sexy as hell to men.
When you are texting a man who is not texting you, you are over investing into a man who is probably not thinking about you all that much. If he was thinking about you and wanted to spend time with you, he would be texting you and you would not be here wondering why does he ignore my texts.
Men have become used to anxious women with unrealistic expectations. Stop texting him if he is not texting you and stand out!
Image Credit Deposit Photo!
If you have a guy who you are interested in and you have been texting back and forth and suddenly he stops texting, what is going on? Why did he stop texting? Did you do something wrong? Did he meet someone else? Has he just lost interest or is he busy? Is he pulling away for good?
Texting is the top means of communication in the dating world now. We live in a society of instant gratification and we are all so busy. Texting is the answer. It’s a very simple and fast way to communicate with your love interests.
If you have been seeing or texting a guy and he all of a sudden stops, you are left wondering what is going on. It could be a number of things. The most likely explanation though is this. You just didn’t have his interest level high enough or you came on too strong too fast. You got ahead of him. Guys are known for doing the slow fade. He could have met someone else, but chances are it’s just his level of attraction.
What to do When He Stops Texting!
When a guy stops texting, you do nothing. Seriously nothing. If he has stopped texting he is investing no effort into you. Your job is to mirror his level of investment. You don’t invest into a guy who is not investing into you, seriously, just don’t do it. It’s groveling behavior and that is just not attractive. Even sitting around wondering why he stopped texting all of a sudden is investing useless emotional energy. If a guy stops texting or never texts you first, it’s your sign to pull back.
One thing you must not do when a guy stops texting you is to text him numerous times asking why. Judge a man by his action or lack of actions. You can measure a man’s interest level by his actions. If he is texting you everyday, he is more than likely interested. If he only responds to your texts and doesn’t initiate on his own, he isn’t really interested.
So if he isn’t really interested and you continue to initiate texts what do you think happens? You kill his attraction, that is what happens. This is one of the main reasons why guys stop texting and pull away.. There is no challenge when the woman does all the initiating. Have you ever not really been all that interested in a guy and he kept texting and calling? Did it make you like him more? I doubt it. It made you roll your eyes when your phone rang. There is no need to do his job for him.
If you are wondering why he stopped texting, more than likely, it could be a lost cause. A guy who is into a woman isn’t going to leave her alone long. He won’t turn into a guy who just stops texting. He fears someone else may come along and snatch her up. If he stopped texting, chances are he isn’t worried about this with you. If you continue to try and raise up this dead horse, your value goes down in his eyes.
Another thing that often happens with these guys that stop texting once you go silent on them is this. They resurface down the road to test the waters. They want to see if you are still on that back burner. Be prepared for this. This could be your chance to reignite his interests. It happens if you know the proper skills and techniques.
When he never texts first, it makes a girl wonder doesn’t it. I mean he answers you so all must be well. Still, something feels off if you are the one doing all the work and there is a good reason it feels this way. So why doesn’t he text first anymore? Is he pulling away?
Reason #1 Why Doesn’t He Text First
He doesn’t have to anymore. You have taken over his job for him. You are the one that takes control of things. You text him for things like asking him what are the plans for the weekend, what time is he coming over, or you wake him up with good morning text messages in the mornings.
When you take over his job for him, you step into the masculine role, and he loses interest in texting you first. It’s no longer fun. You have taken the joy of the chase completely out it, and he is bored. He can count on you like clockwork to text him and it’s just no fun anymore.
You become predictable and predictable I must tell you equals boring. Not to mention you aren’t giving him a chance to lead the relationship. Men instinctively want to lead. You are depriving him of this by texting him first.
Do you wonder what would happen if you stopped texting him, but at the same time, in the back of your mind it scares you. You think if you don’t text him, he may just stop texting you? I call it holding His hand, trying to have some control as to where the relationship goes. In reality you are not helping yourself by texting him first everyday.
If he never texts first chances are you aren’t giving him a chance. You wake up, try to make it until lunch time without hearing from him and your knee jerk reaction is to seek some instant gratification. You reach for your phone and send that first text.
By not allowing him space to lead the relationship, you are in essence trying to control it. Men and control aren’t a good mix. This is when guys start losing attraction, yet can’t put their finger on why. You may get a it’s not you, it’s me excuse.
You are also doing his job for him. You are stepping into the masculine role when you text him first. If he never texts first, it’s because he doesn’t have to. When a woman steps into his role, he becomes uninspired.
Reason #2 Why He Stopped Texting First
He is trying to pace you, put some distance between you. If you are the one texting him first all the time, he may feel that you are more invested and further along in this relationship than he is. He is not on the same page as you. Your expectations of where it’s going have exceeded his.
When you start texting first, you are showing signs of control. You text to get a particular outcome and he feels your needy energy. Again, texting is just not fun anymore.
Linda mailed me a few weeks ago telling me her boyfriend never makes plans with her. She always is the one to text him on Thursday and ask him what they are going to be doing over the weekend. She had a fear that if she didn’t, they would not spend time together. Texting him first on Thursday was her way of controlling and making sure that did not happen.
What she didn’t realize is she didn’t give him any space to step up. When you don’t give a man space, to be the man, they tend to just stop trying.
If a man isn’t texting you and you are always texting him first, back up, you are going to send him running for the hills soon enough if you don’t stop. He is going to eventually pull away. Guys will keep girls around as back up. You want to make sure you aren’t just a back up girl and you won’t know this if you keep on initiating by texting him first. You are actually giving him control by texting him first and putting yourself out of control.
Reason #3 Why He Doesn’t Text First Anymore
Often time guys will stop texting you or slow down the texting because you simply aren’t making them feel good. Do you complain about his texting habits or whine when he does something that makes you feel bad like taking too long to text you back? Maybe you even get bitchy or sarcastic about it.
Men don’t like to disappoint and when you continually complain and expect them to behave in certain ways, they begin to feel they just can’t make you happy no matter what they do. Men fall in love with how a woman makes them feel and if you are doing a lot of complaining and pointing out his behavior flaws, he isn’t feeling good in your presence. This will make a man slow his roll and stop texting you first faster than anything.
Another thing to consider if he never texts you first is perhaps he really isn’t that into you to start with. You might want to stop now and evaluate the relationship and if and how you can turn this around and have him chasing you instead of you chasing him. Men really do like the chase, but they aren’t going to just get rid of a girl because she chases. He will keep her around as an option while he finds another to chase.
If you are complaining as to why he never texts first, don’t always place the blame on the guy, the blame may very well be with you and the role of pursuer that you have chosen to play. Do you know what really makes guys tick and what causes them to attach? It’s not you texting him first I assure you.
You texting first is masculine energy and guys fall in love with feminine energy, not masculine. How many other areas of the relationship are you carrying the load with your masculine energy.
You can use texting to take you relationships to higher levels. It’s not all in what you do, but often in what you don’t do with your text messages. You can learn to be textually attractive with a few changes in words, actions and techniques of your texting.
If you haven’t checked out Text the Romance, it can turn your relationship from boring to spicy with just a few text messages delivered at the right time.
Seriously Sexy Valentine Gifts for a Girlfriend!
Are you looking for sexy Valentine gifts for a girlfriend this year? That something special to make her feel desired and sexy. You are probably thinking a sexy gift will put her in the mood, and spice up that intimate time. Good for you for putting in the extra effort. So many guys just don’t. A sexy gift tells her you desire her and that you want to be up close and personal with her. Women love to feel wanted so kudos to you! I have come up with a few ideas for sexy gifts for girlfriends for you. I know what women like because I am a woman! Below you will find gifts that are sure to make her blush, and make her feel, well just downright sexy and wanted!
Body Massage Candles are a Sexy Valentine Gifts for a Women
I selected this particular body massage candles as it is one of the finest! It melts and turns into a luxurious message oil at body temperature. You can buy this candle in Bourbon, Dark Vanilla, Pink Lotus and Cucumber. These are natural Aphrodisiac Scents designed to engage the senses!
They are natural and chemical free and safer for sensitive skin. Once it melts you can melt her into some serious body touching pleasure that is sure to make her liquid in your hands.
It comes with some Pheromone Infused Perfume Cologne. When I wear this, men always comment and often lean back in for another whiff. It’s a sensual scent that will arouse your senses and hers, trust me. It includes my favorite scent on the planet that you too are going to just go nutty for.
It comes with three free packets of Pure Instinct. You can always order more if you run out – 3 should be enough for the first night. Sexy is so pleasurable to a lady when a man thinks ahead at the little things like these.
Every Woman Loves Chocolate!
What woman doesn’t like Chocolate?
Devour her with this chocolate body paint! This chocolate body paint is oh so naughty and brings double pleasure in taste and touch. You can apply it with the tickling brush or you can apply it with your fingertips.
What’s nice about this chocolate body paint is that it is edible and that’s what kind of foreplay this body paint suggests. Women need foreplay as I am sure you know?
The more foreplay she gets the more she can enjoy you and the more sex you’ll get from her in the long run. If you satisfy her, she’ll be more into satisfying you more often – those with ears, HEAR what I’m saying to you.
This sexy gift is good for hours of intimate and erotic pleasure and a gift she is sure to love you more for it. It’s not only a thoughtful gift for her, it’s going to bring you some climatic pleasure as well.
Satin Sheets are Oh So Sensual and Sexy
One Sexy Gift for Your Girlfriends Pleasure
Satin Sheets are a luxury and one of the many sexy gifts for a girlfriend that is sure to leave her spread across the bed feeling good.
These satin sheets come 11 different colors including sexy animal print. She will feel like your queen in a bed covered in satin sheets and some rose petals.
There really is something about sliding around in Satin Sheets that feels so sensual to the skin. Girls find it erotic to slip around in them and it’s a very thoughtful and classy way of telling someone you want to make sweet love to them.
Enjoy these satin sheets with some candlelight for sweet aroma. Women love it when men think ahead with the little details like these sheets. Something like this you don’t wrap and hand to a woman, you put these out on the bed ahead of time and spread out some silky rose petals and light candles.
Leather Handcuffs Make a Sexy Gift for a Girlfriend
Sexy Leather Handcuffs Make a Sexy Gift for a Girlfriend
I particularly like these because the chain is removable. You can put them on her when you go out for an evening and she can savor the anticipation of getting home.
You can lead her around in these like your sexy love slave and give her the warm fuzzies all over, not just around the wrists.
If you read this blog of mine you know I am big on anticipation and talk a lot about a woman’s imagination is where her desire ignites.
What you do is take these cuffs out of the box and stick them on her or yourself immediately, look her in the eyes so she knows you’re about to embark on some serious pleasure ahead.
Cuffs are sexy and they give a sense of sexual domination in the bedroom that makes one become overpowered with emotions they can’t even begin to contain. What I am saying? Get ready for some serious sexual pleasure when you put cuffs on one another. Ravage one another with those animal instincts when you see your lover helplessly tied up willfully.
Naughty Sexy Gifts for a Girlfriend Christmas 2015
These sexy coupons have lots of great sexy secrets to share with your girlfriend to really change things up. Sex can get boring in a relationship, especially if you have been seeing one another awhile. Some sex coupons and silk rose petals for the bed are a sexy gift for a girlfriend you both can enjoy.
Sexy Gifts for a Girlfriend
Couples His and Hers Personal Lubricants
This sexy gift will excite and delight her, and you! These warming, tingling personal lubricants for her and him work together to create double the stimulation if used alone. This a a great way to introduce foreplay and I am telling you, women love foreplay. It takes a woman longer to warm up than it does a man and spending some time on her with these water based lubricants can drive her wild and to new heights.
Sexy Santa Lingerie For Your Girlfriend
Nothing makes a woman feel sexy like soft sexy lingerie! These naughty Santa lingerie pieces make a great sexy Christmas gift for your girlfriend. Sexy lingerie gives a girl permission to explore her fantasies, and help her loosen up and let go of her inhibitions. Don’t be surprised if she explores some role playing wearing these sexy Santa outfits. Have you been a good boy? It’s 10 times more effective if it was given to her by you.
Today’s woman has higher paying jobs, more responsibility, and strives for equal rights. You would think she would be more open to pursue or approach men, asking them out and making the first move right? Wrong, so why don’t women approach men?
While it is true that times have changed, our biological make up has not. Women are the feminine energy, men hopefully are still the masculine energy. In a woman’s day to day life, she often has to step into that masculine role. She has to lead, take charge, compete at work. At the end of the day, can you really blame us for wanting to let our hair down and actually enjoy being a woman?
Fact of the matter is, women do approach men, it’s just in subtle ways. We may smile, walk by you hoping you will notice us, smile at you, make eye to eye contact a little bit longer than normal, or touch our hair around you. We give off signals that we are open to a man’s approach all the time. Perhaps you are too lost in your own approach anxiety to pick up these signals.
Make Her Feel Like a Woman
One thing that attracts a woman to you is how you make her feel like a woman, much like, you like a woman that makes you feel like a man. If we are doing the pursing and approaching, I assure you we don’t feel much like a woman. When we take the lead, we are operating in our masculine energy, and seriously, it just doesn’t feel right.
I have found that the men who ask, why don’t women approach men are the same guys telling me women don’t like nice guys. I have a male friend and seriously, he says he doesn’t have a girlfriend because he won’t beat a woman and women fall for guys that abuse them and treat them like crap. He honestly believes this is why he can’t get a woman’s attention or rather, he has adopted this as his excuse to just not play the game of pursuit.
The belief that women don’t like nice guys has become their crutch. It’s actually placing the blame on someone else as opposed to doing some personal development work on your own. Expecting women to approach you falls into the same category. An excuse, a cop out! While you are wondering why don’t women approach men, there are men out there that this thought doesn’t even occur to that have great success with women.
One of the key elements of attracting women is to make her feel like a woman. Stop expecting women to approach you or chase you and step into your masculine role and take some leadership. Women love it. It’s their language of desire.
If you can’t speak a woman’s language of desire, isn’t it time you got rid of your lame excuses and did some work on yourself and learned how to bring a woman into her true feminine energy?
Have you ever met a girl, exchanged numbers, and started texting each other and after a few days or weeks, she just stops answering you? Why do girls stop texting back? Did they meet someone else? Are they just busy? Did you say something wrong?
If you are puzzled as to why girls stop texting back, the answer really is pretty simple. She doesn’t want to text you back. Now you want to know why she doesn’t want to text you back and that is simple too! You failed to build a connection with her. You have not inspired her or triggered that attraction thing in her. She is possibly just bored. Allow me to give you a few examples of what many guys do that bore girls or disrupt the initial connection.
Did you lead your text messages with sex?
If you moved too fast or too soon into a sexting with a girl, this is probably one of the biggest turnoffs for her. It happens to us all the time. We meet a guy and he starts getting sexual. This is not how to get sex with a girl, really it isn’t. If you want more sex with a girl, be more mysterious. There is absolutely nothing mysterious about a guy who immediately starts sexting. Show some self control and self discipline. It’s sexy to women.
When you lead with sex, we suspect your motives and intentions. There is no emotional connection for the woman when a man she barely knows starts sending her sexy msessages. If sex is what you want more of, learn to connect with her on an emotional level. Learn how to trigger her emotions with your text messages. Women don’t get turned on like men do and that’s a fact Jack. I mean this would work on a man if you wanted to have sex with a man. I am assuming if you are reading this post, you don’t want sex with men, so just stop it please.
Have some patience!
Did she stop texting you because you text too much?
Are you running a textathon? In other words do you text her all day trying to carry on a conversation with her? Chatting about nothing really. First this tells her you don’t have much of a life. A guy without much of a life has no mystery. Again, mystery is an attraction builder. A girl thinks about you in your absence. If you are texting her all the time, there is no absence and no way she can even begin to miss you.
If a guy texts me all day or a lot, I begin to think he might be desperate. I mean what on earth is there to text about all day. Save it for one on one time or you won’t have much to talk about if and when you do meet.
Remember your texting habits set the pace for the future. If you start out texting all day, you are going to need to keep up that pace. If you do move to a relationship, it’s going to be tough to keep texting her all day. If you think this is putting your best foot forward or impressing her, you may want to rethink this.
Are you all text and no action?
Have you been texting her for days or weeks and have yet to make plans or ask her out? We call this e-tethering. We get bored, not to mention just frustrated. I am in a group of thousands of women and the general advice to the girls when a guy does this is to just stop texting him back. Yep, just stop. He is a time waster.
Oh Lord the guy that just texts us good morning text messages every single day and we barely know him yet. Or the guy that texts and says, “I hope you have a good day”, or “how was your day?” and little else. Totally boring and does absolutely nothing to build up attraction. I mean if she is your girlfriend and you want to tell her good morning, that is one thing. If you never spend time with her yet still do it, we again think you are just blowing hot air, except it’s not even hot.
So wonder no more why do girls stop texting back. Now you know. Learn how to emotionally connect with your text messages and you won’t experience this. Consider the concept that less really is more.
It’s no mystery really why do girls stop texting you back. You failed to keep her interest. You didn’t reach her on an emotional level. If you don’t know how to do this learn it here at Text that Girl.
If you want to attract more women on a dating site, put some effort in when your write a online dating profile. If you think it doesn’t matter, think again. If you think she is going to just look at the pictures and not read it, may I remind you that women aren’t visual like men, they are more ruled by emotions. If your profile is blank, she feels no emotion whatsoever. You just shut down about 75% of your odds by not taking the time to write a good online dating profile.
Choosing Online Dating Profile Names and Headlines!
Your online dating profile name and headline are your first impression. Choose them wisely. I would estimate 95% fall into one of two categories. Completely mushy or completely sexual.
If your dating profile name is Big Black Stroker, as a woman, I will conclude that you just want a hook up, and pass you by. Now if a hook up is all you do want. or maybe a sexual oriented relationship, fine, but you will get more sex if you don’t lead with sex. I can’t stress this enough. Stay away from user names that relate to sex.
Don’t use your real name, please. That’s just not even smart. I would not think that this would deserve a mention, but after browsing about 50 profiles, it obviously does. Have you ever Googled your own name? You can be found on Facebook or other social media platforms. Just don’t do it.
For a Profile name, it doesn’t have to be that complicated. The headline is what stands out. Maybe your initials and a word that describes what you like to do. WriterBob, PickingBilly, you get the point.
Online Dating Headline
I just browsed 50 pages of profiles to write this part. Out of 50 pages, I saw one that made me chuckle. “Not Bald”. The rest were all about the same. Nice guy looking for a nice girl. Honest guy looking for an honest girl. Good guy looking for you. Blah blah blah. They make me yawn. Try to put a bit of humor here.
Maybe find a good song title and I don’t mean the song “Pretty Good at Drinking Beer”. If a guy happens to have a song title that I love as his online dating headline, I might just drop him a line.
Avoid anything that refers to you as a nice or good guy. If you are stuck in the nice guy syndrome, get out now. It’s not appealing and we see beta male when we see that. You can read why nice guys don’t get the girls here, and it’s not what you think.
Good Online Dating Profile Pictures
I can’t stress how important your pictures are in your online dating profile. If your pictures are bad, you don’t stand a snowballs chance in hell of attracting a woman. You don’t have to be the most good looking man on earth to have good pictures on your profile. It’s so blatantly obvious when I look at some of these pictures that men expect women to be attracted to them the way they are attracted to women. All through this blog you will read that men are visual, women not quite so much.
What you think is sexy, is not what is sexy to a woman. I am sure you may find a woman wearing less to be visually stimulating and appealing. We don’t quite feel the same as you do about this. A picture of you with your shirt off doesn’t affect us like a picture with our shirt off would affect you.
What is sexier to us? A man in a nice shirt with the sleeves rolled up. We see a serious and playful side of him in this example. A man sitting behind a desk with his sleeves rolled up, glasses dropped down, eyes looking over top with a smirk is sexy. Give us the opportunity to use our imagination with your pictures.
Please post more than one picture as well. Some of the best profiles show a man in different settings. Maybe one in a suit, one in a baseball cap and jeans. You get the picture, show us a bit of who you are.
One more note as far as the online dating profile pictures. Leave the pictures of your big fish or dead deer and other wildlife out. Are you looking for a lover/partner or a hunting buddy?
Now the good part about the actual body of the profile.
How to Write a Online Dating Profile to Attract More Women.
Write one, please write one. We read them we really do. If I see a dating profile with nothing there or just a couple of sentences, I can bet he is going to be one of the multitudes that mails me a one word opening line email and he won’t be able to carry the conversation or talk to a girl online. Not to mention my first impression is you are lazy and not willing to put in any effort. Why would I want to date you?
I know you are tempted to put in that you are honest, hard working, loyal, kind, and all of those lovely attributes that you have. Skip it. I mean as opposed to what, a lying, cold hearted mean lazy coach potato. It’s information that really isn’t relevant. Don’t tell us about it, display it in your profile. Maybe you volunteer at a retirement home, put that as opposed to listing that you are kind. Paint us a picture. Remember, we are emotional creatures. Trigger our emotions and you are in. A well written dating profile can melt us.
Don’t tell us you have a sense of humor, show us. I mean the profile headline up there that said “not bald”, I already know he has a sense of humor. This is so much more effective that just listing humor as a quality that you possess. God knows all of our senses of humor were not created equal.
Take some time, put some thought into it and remember, it’s a woman reading your online dating profile, not a man. Appeal to the woman. Do not add in your profile, “if you want to know more, just ask”. Inspire me to want to know more. Telling us to ask, again comes across as lazy and perhaps a bit beta male again.
In summary, a good dating profile can improve your odds tremendously. Don’t underestimate this when writing an online dating profile. Once you get this part down, then you just need to send that first email and start the ball rolling.
Men get hung up on looks when it comes to thinking about what is sexy to women in a man. Looks can only get you so far. If you are drop dead gorgeous, we all know a man can kill the attraction when he opens his mouth. When it comes to what women find sexy in men, it’s deeper than the looks. It’s about his presence. It’s about how you make her feel.
I recently polled quite a few women on this topic. Today I am going to share the top things that women find sexy in men.
What is Sexy to Women
Top List of Qualities that Women Want!
The top of the list is Humor and Intelligence.
Humor and the ability to make her laugh are big ones. Women love a man that makes her laugh. A man that can disarm her emotional episodes with his humor instead of running for the hills gets extra bonus points. If you can do this, you will find her emotional episodes become fewer and farther between and your life gets easier.
Intelligence is big also. This doesn’t mean you can recite the dictionary. Emotional intelligence is really what we mean by intelligence is sexy. Having the ability and the sense to know what to say and when to say it or rather when not to say it, qualifies as intelligence. Starting a conversation with a woman telling her nice ass for example does not qualify as emotional intelligence.
The ability to lead is sexy to women, very sexy!
We love a man that can take the lead, make a decision and follow through. There are a lot of men that throw the ball in our court way to much. You think you are pleasing to us, but actually it’s a sign that you are more of a follower. We don’t want a follower, we want a leader. We also like a man that can stand up to us and not allow us to walk all over you.
If you aren’t taking the lead from the get go, you are most likely turning off a lot of women. Ask her out like a boss, be confident. When you throw the ball in her court and get her to make all the suggestions and plans, she can’t feel your masculinity. We really don’t want to carry your balls around in our purses.
The words “I got this” is what is sexy to women, very sexy. This stems from our need to feel protected and safe. We can’t feel protected and safe when you can’t even ask us out on a date. If a woman is having a melt down try it. Gently, but firmly tell her you got this. Notice her entire body posture takes on that of relief. A yes man is not what women find sexy.
Having Your Own Life is Sexy to Women
Wanting to be joined at the hip twenty four seven is not sexy to women. Most women that is. Have your own life outside of her. Pursue your own passions. Not only is this sexy, but it makes you more interesting. A man that puts a woman as the center of his universe or depends on her for his happiness is often the man that is left behind.
When you don’t have your own life and you put the woman too high up on a pedestal, she feels a huge burden and responsibility for your happiness. A woman can’t relax completely with a man like this. She can’t let her hair down for she walks on eggshells.
The Ability to Carry on a Conversation with Women!
The ability to approach a woman and carry on a conversation with ease is what is sexy to women. Women complain a lot these days that men lead into an approach or conversation with sex. If sex is your goal, you will get more of it if you don’t lead with sex. We get the sexual comments constantly. If you want to stand out, don’t lead this way.
Even with online dating we can tell if you can carry on a conversation or not. When you start a conversation with just a hi, and no content, we usually assume you can’t carry on a conversation and that you are waiting on us to lead. If you don’t know how to carry on a conversation or talk to a girl, go read a book on the topic, learn, please.
In summary, women love a man with confidence. Confidence plays a part in all of the above qualities and is sexy. What is sexy to women is a man that knows who he is, is emotionally intelligent, has the ability to lead and knows that her biggest sex organ is really her mind. A man that knows we don’t respond like men, and understands and accepts our differences is sexy to women.
The above qualities aren’t something that all men possess. They are qualities or skills that can however be learned. If you don’t have a lot of success with women, there is help out there and today with all the information online, it’s right at your fingertips. If you blame women for your lack of success, I urge you to step out of the victim mentality and take responsibility for it. Did I mention women also find a man that takes responsibility is also very sexy.
Different women find different things sexy in men of course. Some are into arms, some are into eyes. Some say tall is a must have. Overall, women like a clean, neat and well dressed man. This doesn’t mean you have to wear a suit and tie. Just make sure your clothes are clean and wrinkle free and you have showered.
I have had men that meet me for the first time with stains on their clothes or with the scent of a barnyard lingering around them. Seriously. Hygiene is important to most women.
If you are wondering what sort of pics women find sexy on a dating site, it’s not you in the bathroom with your shirt off. A pic with you with a nice shirt on, with the sleeves rolled up is sexy. Glasses are sexy, especially if they are tipped down over the nose with you looking up straight at us with a little grin. Most women agree that men in glasses is what’s sexy.
Shoes, I must mention shoes. If you are meeting a woman, don’t wear sneakers or work boots, please just don’t. Nice casual loafer type shoes are best.
And smile, always smile, that is what’s sexy to women.
Photo credit Deposit Photo
I can say with complete certainty that a lot of guys don’t know how to talk to a girl online, let alone know how to ignite a spark with their conversation. I speak from experience. Mine and about few thousand other women that I have the pleasure of interacting with on online forums. Men appear to be unsure of themselves and if you are one of these men, I assure you it shows in your messages. Let’s start at the beginning
The very first email to girl on a dating site.
As you know the first email to a girl on a dating site is your first impression. This is your chance to send a message that increases your chance of a reply. If you can’t get past the first email, chances are you really don’t know how to talk to a girl online.
Weekends are a busy time for me online. Sunday morning alone I received about 12 messages. Every single one of them were less than three words. Every single one. A list below if you need details.
- hey sexy
- how r u
- how’s your day
- hello beautiful
- love your smile
- love you hair
- can we chat
The list keeps going. Knowing this is the standard email that guys send to girls online gives you a huge advantage and opportunity for you to stand out. You see every time we go to open up our mail, we are secretly hoping that some guy has put in some effort. We are hoping to open up a message to something more than a few words. Something that allows us to at least think you noticed something other than visual aspects about us. We like to know you at least took the time to read our profile at the very least.
You guys think there is a ton of competition online and you think we are getting a ton of emails, so what is the point? Yeah, we get a ton of emails, lame ones. I am more apt to give a guy a reply and a chance if he can stand out from the rest, even if he isn’t the most attractive man on the dating site for that matter.
This is my opinion and honestly the opinion of many women. Men who send these 3 word or less opening liners probably don’t have much confidence in themselves and are anticipating rejection before they hit the send button. They don’t know how to talk to a girl online because they allow fear of rejection to dominate. I don’t have to tell you that a man without confidence isn’t all that attractive. Below is an example of a man’s latest attempt to talk to me online.
I think it would be nice to meet someone close ……. Does not mean it will work ……just a thought
This email above screams “I have no confidence“. He has set himself up for failure of talking online in his first email, let alone meeting. I mean meeting is just a thought to him, nothing more. Already planting a seed that it won’t work. Would a woman feel safe with a man like this? Hell no!
Guys have told me they send these emails because they rarely get a response and it’s their way of testing to see if we might be interested. Can I say you are self sabotaging with this? Find something in her profile that you can comment on and at least try to get a few sentences pieced together. You will increase your odds like this and many say online dating is a numbers game anyway. Get over that fear of rejection and act like a man, please!
If you can make us laugh or say something funny or pick on us in a playful way, that is even better. If you have a sense of humor, show it to us.
How do you keep the conversation going with a girl online?
Okay, so she answered you now what to say to a girl online dating? How do you keep the conversation going. Many think asking a bunch of questions is how to keep it going. A few questions is okay, but don’t go overboard. Don’t ask her how many men she has met or how it’s going with her online dating. Don’t ask her where she is from either, that should be in her profile and if you messaged her, you should know.
Again, find something in her profile, tell her why and how that appeals to you and ask a question about it. Be witty, be confident and always assume she is interested, don’t ask her is she interested. Let your confidence shine through in your conversation. Often it’s not what you do that impresses a girl, but what you don’t do that is just like all the other guys. Flirt with her. If you don’t know how to flirt with a girl online, find out. There are books out there on the subject and they can help you turn your dating life around.
There is nothing wrong with chatting for a few day but sooner, rather than later, you need to ask her out online. I mean if you just start everyday for weeks with a good morning text to her online, you get rather boring to us. We get frustrated with guys who want to text or message us constantly but never make a move to ask us out. We lose interest quickly and move on to someone with a little more action behind their words.
If you want to really light a spark with a girl, learn how to talk to a girl online. If you don’t know how or don’t feel confident in your ability, for God’s sake, get some advice. Confidence is a big key and we can feel it even via those virtual connections. Confident men are just down right sexy. Invest into your online game and get more dates, more sex and love in your life with The Online Game Here.
Or just continue to strike out while the guy that knows how to talk to a girl online keeps on scoring!
Images from Depositphoto.